Abraham Lincoln "The Hobo", also known as, "The Dude who Wore the Black Man on his Crotch," was a poor, dumb, little kid growing up. He was born in an unsanitary log cabin and he ate termites. For breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert. Then, one day, he met someone who had an IQ of 50. The person remains anonymous. He was so shocked and impressed he decided to become smart. So he ran away from his mom and dad, who happened to brother and sister, then became the leader of our glorious nation. Don't ask how, because there were women with good jobs.
Anyhow, some things went down with all the black guys in the West,and don't ask me why it's called the South. Because it's West. Anyway, he set them free, which made a lot of people angry in the "South." The "South" was in the west. No one knows why its called the South. So he ran for president against John Bell for president in 1960 for his first term. He then abolished slavery in the United States. Then the South became a part of the United States.